Day One

Hello.

I guess this is going to be a thing now...

Let's see how this goes...

Hi, my name is irrelevant, but I have things to say. Those things are relevant. At least I hope they are. On here, I will post all the messed up crap that happens in my head... I aim to get it all off my chest.

The reason why I'm not putting my name on this, is because I am - was - in psychiatric care and my therapist told me I couldn't tell anyone that I had depression, because it would keep me from getting a job in the field I wanted to work in. That field was education... Makes sense. Who would want a depressed person teaching their kid, right? The thing is, that I have since ditched two things:

- that job. I am still in training for it and I aim to finish it, but I am not going to work in education, because I can feel the early syptoms of burn-out already. I also don't want to subject anyone to my mood swings... that would be unfair...

- that therapist. He was specialised on behaviorism. If you don't know what that is, it's basically the theory that your brain can learn to do anything. It can also learn not to do something. That's the theory. It's great if you're talking about quitting smoking, or drugs or something... Depression not so much. You can't just learn not to be depressed. That's not how it works...

So I am on my way to find myself a new therapist. Preferrably a Freudian one. I think that'll be the most useful for me. It's also the only kind that is covered by health insurance here apart from the behaviorism one...

But yeah... If you want to follow the fucked up shit that happens in my brain, welcome. If not,that's perfectly fine. If I had the choice, I wouldn't wanna see it either, believe me.

Til next time...
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